I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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