What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
