I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
