i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
