I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
