im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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