never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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