he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
