Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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