Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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