I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
