ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
