I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
