Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
