I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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