I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
