problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
