I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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