my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My liver just had a heart attack.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
