I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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