ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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