i permit you to call me
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
