do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
