We're like a lot better than the average bears
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
