Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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