You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
