Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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