halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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