so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize