I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
