i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
