I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
it glows. i had to have it.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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