fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
