i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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