my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
