porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize