You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
