if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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