sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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