Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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