new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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