And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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