He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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