hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
