Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I had to cum in my sink.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
