week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
True strength comes from lack of pants
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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