he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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