I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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