Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
