did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
