the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
