After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
