Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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