dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
