I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
if only i could text you this smell
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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