i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
