don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
